Y Me??

We joined the YMCA. And, I've actually been going. And working out. And sweating. And having sore, sore legs that night and the next day requiring Ibuprofen. It better be worth it.
Anyway, it's always an experience at the Y. I seem to be a magnet for the weirdos, I mean, eccentrics, I mean mentally challenged, no, I really mean weirdos that frequent the place. Only, not the young, good looking ones. Oh no, I get the old and somewhat depraved ones.
Yesterday, I went to the Y. La tee da, in I go. And doing pretty good as no one talked to me in the locker room (trust me, that's a plus). I get on my elliptical machine and push, push, push myself. I was looking fierce on that machine.
As I'm in full sweat mode, watching the timer, tick, tick, tick SLOWLY down (I swear it goes slower when there's only 10 minutes left), the man in the next row in front of me stops and gets off his treadmill. Now, I wouldn't have normally noticed this, because besides watching the timer, I was seriously watching my Oprah. And no one better interrupt me and my Oprah.
Alas, it was not to be. The weirdo man stops right in front of me and looks directly up into my face (now picture this, as it requires a bit of contortion on his part because each machine has its own tv screen and I'm focused on my Oprah). And then he proceeds to say, with a big ass cheesy grin on his face "Gooooood morning! And have a GRRReat day!" I almost fell off the machine. And I think I managed to say 'heh' but it might possibly have come out as a grunt. (Thank goodness what I was thinking didn't come out. That would have wiped the grin right off his face!) I'm not entirely sure what sound I made because I was trying to hang onto the machine, watch the darned timer and I was missing Oprah. And Weirdo Man wouldn't go away until I acknowledged him. Oh, and did I mention I was the only female he graced with his friendly/disturbing presence?
Well, he moved on. I trudged on and finally I finished. Off to the showers I go.
I get into the shower, was just about to take off my towel and thwap! I get hit upside the side of my head (partly on my face) with something. "What the heckl?" I look up and see that the old woman in the stall next to me had flung her swimsuit over the top of the stall and smacked me upside the head with it. Not the worst part though. The part of her suit that I got hit with? Well, it was the soaking wet crotch! EEEEEEUUUUUUUU!
I never shampooed so thoroughly.