Growing Older

I turned 42 this week. Just like wine, I'm getting better with age. There are many things that I like about getting older:
-I have a better grip on what's important

-I have some great life experiences

-I love watching my kids grow

Then, well, then there are the other things. Now, why is it that no one told me about the other things????
Like, enjoy your flat tummy when you're young because one day, your stomach will blow up like a dead fish on the shore.
And like this:

Now, why the heck didn't anyone ever tell me that as you gracefully (that's my story and I'm sticking with it) grow older, random hairs will suddenly appear in places where you have had no problems previously??????

I mean, really, big sisters, thanks for the warning! And look at the size of this sucker! I didn't notice the 2 1/2 inch long hair until it practically grew up into my ear! NASTY!!!!

And, when you pull these babies out, you think "Aha, gotcha, you little bugger" until some weeks later when it's older cousin shows up even longer than the first guy. AAAACK!

So, for my younger friends, sorry, but this is what you can look forward to.

And, for my older friends, I'm not sure if I want to know about the other things that will be happening. Unless they involve 2 inch hairs, then you better 'fess up!

Kimono Shirt

I made my first shirt! Considering the only patterns I've ever followed are quilt patterns, I thought this turned out pretty cute. C loves her new shirt and has now requested that I make her one like it, but in a dress and with blue fabrics. I have my first summer project!

It's Just Food

At Weight Watchers this past Saturday, I was struggling. My weight loss journey/battle has once again taken a big surge to the uphill, much harder to make it, into the wind- kind of weight loss. And, frankly, it sucks. I really hate that it's this hard.
As usual, they did the stars and awards portion at the end of WW. One lady lost 5 lbs (you get a star for every 5 lbs you lose) and the substitute leader asked her for any tips.
"Well," she said, "it's really pretty easy."
"Oh?" said the leader, "Would you care to share how this works for you?"
"Simple" 5 lb-er replied "it's only food. That's all you have to understand. It's just a little bit of food, you can wait till the next meal or snack for more".
The leader hesitated and quite frankly, I was shotting daggers at the woman with my eyes (ever so politely, of course, I am a lady after all).
5 lb-er continued, "I mean, why is food so important. I've been her a whole 2 weeks already and I"ve already lost 5 lbs!!"
Well, just bully for you, 5 pounder. You could almost hear the groans in the room and I know a few people were rolling their eyes (of course, not me. No, I was simply wishing a big ol' weight gain for her this week. Petty, I know, but I felt better).  The other part of me was thinking, really, good for you for losing those 5 lbs but honey, you truly don't get it. I lost 5 lb the first couple weeks too, that was the easy part.
The comments that 5 lb-er made really bothered me and stayed with me all week. I thought about them, pondered them, stewed about them. Let them eat at me and poke me and prod me to consider why did those little words "it's just food" get to me so much??? (I just noticed how many times I refer to food terms-stew, eat, etc. Guess I'm just making my point all the more)
Well, because for me, it's not just food, it's ALL about the food. It's about how many points things are, it's about knowing the amount of protein I'm eating, it's having my treats in moderation, it's about journaling each and every bite that hits my mouth (apparently, I need a little more honesty in the last category based on recent scale figures). It's about figuring out how I can make this a live-able, do-able, life long endeavor. It's about knowing how to indulge and not pay the piper for the next 2 weeks (or more). It's about being healthy, living longer, enjoying my life more. It's about control. 
I have not gotten to the point where I can say 'it's just food'. I fight the scale each and every day of my life and it's so difficult.  I wish I could celebrate 5 lb-er and her weight loss but I'm bitter. I'm mad that I let my weight get this far out of hand and I hate that losing it now takes so much effort.
But, I'm learning. I weigh less now than I did a year ago (not tons, but less). I make better choices, I exercise more. I don't know that I will ever get to the point where it's easy but I'm making the journey, one little step at a time.
It might be 'just food' ;but,  for me, I really want it to be 'just living'.
The journey continues....

Speedy Brownies

I tried a new brownie recipe the other day. It's from here: http://www.thetidynest.com/2010/04/speedy-brownies.html
Oh my heavenly goodness! They were fantastic!! Definitely a keeper. I did reduce the oil to 3/4 cup and I think you could cut back on the eggs a bit if you'd like, but goodness, why would you??
This is my new go-to quick dessert.
Yum!

Growing Pains

I was at school yesterday to work in S's classroom and to deliver the cupcakes I spent hours decorating. Once our centers of learning were complete, S came over to whisper in my ear.
"Mama, could you please not stay for lunch today? It just, well, is sorta embarassing to me."
"What???" I heard myself gasp, as a sharp pain shot through my breaking heart. As the other part of my brain was thinking "you must not have heard him correctly".
"Well, you're my Mom and it's kinda not great to have you here for lunch" he said.
"Really? But I always come to school to eat lunch with you on your birthday. It's our tradition," I stammered, bravely trying not to look too shocked, too sad, too teary.
He looked down at the ground, glanced back up at me, looked at me with his big blue eyes and whispered once more, "Please?"
"OK," I said, being brave, "I don't have to come back for lunch."
"But," I said as I tried not to grab him and hug him, "do you still want me to drop off  McDonald's for lunch?"
"Oh" he said, "If you're bringing McDonald's, you can come and sit by me. That's perfectly fine."

Nice to know that me and Ronald McDonald rate right next to each other.